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Friday, July 10, 2009

time to blog.

i dont think anyone reads this blog anymore, and the tagboard is so screwed, but when i got home, i felt the strong need to blog about today...

Soo, today was the day of INO’s performance in Esplanade, for SYF presentation.

I though everything will be fine and dandy (: but…
So we left class at 11.10, yayy (: cos I got to miss philo with michelle’s favourite teacher (:

Went for prac till around 12.30 in the KS Chee. And of COURSE, at that time, some instrument will have a hole and something will be loose and wtv.
And I thought we sounded pretty good during practice (: so blabla, had lunch and then packed up everything, which was like CUSTOMS. They could only leave once they passed the 2 checkpoints (: hehe.

And we were all so sleepy mann, got everyone onto the 2 buses and we were off to esplanade (: soo, reached there and got sent to this SUPER COOL dressing room :D it had like EIGHTEEN mirrors, ANDAND, the mirrors were surrounded with bulbs/lights which made the room have a HSM feel! :D was very exciting, AND, it had its own toilet, really bigg and CLEAANNNN :D haha, as you can tell, that was my highlight of the day…haha
So wells, we had out tech rehearslal, finally got round to changing out, eating dinner [ack] and then MAKE-UPing. Whee(: then lotsa pictures! Basically today was a really fun day.

But there was another side to it ): UNpleasant side…
Like, managing INO can be the hardest thing in LIFE. Really, getting them to cooperate and listen is just so difficult. Which is why at this point I would like to say that I’m so glad my chair is arthi premkumar (: really, I may have contradicted this statement at times, but that’s prolly just cos of the day’s occurrences…hee. Really, arthee, you have been f.f.fab. love you babe!
Wouldn’t be able to do anything without A.P. (: (:

So well, we played reall well today! It felt good plus my Daddy told me it was really good (: thank you Lord. Everything was going so good, I was even in such a good mood on the way back to school.

After I left sch at like 9.30pm, a bigBIG problem occurred D: don’t feel like mentioning it now, but oh wells, I felt so responsible for it, ended up crying on the way home in the car ): shiit. BUT I got it solved, with [of course] A.P.’s help.
And oh, my Thank God, He made sure nothing went wrong or lost (: Thank you Daddy God. My Papa saw me looking so depressed, he came over, hugged me and said, “everything will be ok” and then mummy gave me a bigg hug, and they just made me want to cry all over again. I praise God for giving me such a loving family. Mummy’s hugs seem to be able to solve all problems. (:
They’ll always love me no matter what I do and always seem to be proud of me [and my siblings] (:

I think this has been INO’s MOST challenging year EVER. SYF itself is the most draining thing, and on top of that we have had MANY, and I mean mannyyyy performances. And we have two more, on 18th july and 20th july…
And I feel like I’ve given everything already, and I’ve had enough ):
Really sometimes, I feel like people expect too many things from me. And I HATE letting people down ):
How do you know if what you did was enough? I dunno. How do you know if you’ve been a good role model? I dunno. How do you know if you committed yourself to too many things and now dunno whether that was a responsible choice? I dunno. Ughh. Unanswered questions.

Hmmm, I also realised, how impt friends are in my life. Friends and family and God keep me going. But somehow when you get closer to one person, it gets hard to stay close to the first person. Why? I also dunno. And then, my bestie is leaving at the end of the year D: sighs.

Well in times like this, I go to God. HE IS MIGHTY TO SAVE. Amen. Ohh yeah.
He’s always there with open arms and I just need to learn to rely on Him. Cos He loves me soo much, and He’s gonna help me get through this year.

Right now everything just seems so overwhelming. SS PT, Geog PT, Tamil PT, and hmwk in all other subjects. Plus two more performances, which we can’t practice for anymore? Plus class matters…
Sighs, I wonder how other people do it man. When I wanna give up, I just hafta remind myself to look to my Father God and know that He will answer my prayers
K then, I should go bathe and sleep now.

ALL of my life, in EVERY season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing,
I have a reason to worship.

Oh now you find me in my weakness
And heal the wounds of my heartache
And worship for you in spirit and truth

And you open the door for me
And you lay down your life to set me free
All that I am will serve you lord

And you open my eyes to see
All the wondering all of christ in me
Jesus you're everything I need

11:33 PM
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